01-19-2021.  I survived Covid-19 pneumonia.  I was in St John's hospital for 22 total days.  I was exposed I believe, on 12/4/2020.  My friend, Jackie Pearson, called me to say that the baby momma at the baby shower she hosted tested positive for Covid.  I was experiencing fatigue.  I would sit down and fall asleep.  I fought this until 12/14 and called for an ambulance.  I just was so fatigued I couldn't function.  When they checked my blood oxygen level I believe I was at about 69%.  The EMSA man said he could understand why I was fatigued.  I was oxygen starved.  I got into the ER/ICU and they began to treat me using a CPAP type of oxygen mask.  Dr talked to me about being intubated if needed.  I said if they need to do it to save my life then save my life.  They never needed to put me on a ventilator.  The different cannulas they had to use on me worked to get oxygen into me.  I got a IV injections of dexomethosone steroid.  After reading about side effects, one is trouble sleeping.  That would be me.  The 22 days I was there I only was able to do cat naps.  Sleep an hour at a time.  Between the BP checks every 4 hours, finger sticks for blood sugar checks followed shortly by 1 or 2 injections of insulin (long term and short term insulin).  Or a blood draw or a daily steroid injection.  The food was pretty good and the menu was not too bad, though I was there long enough to eat the same meals multiple times.  The nurses were good.  My favorite was Melinda.  I don't know her name but she was my nurse on 8th floor.  She was so compassionate and would give me a few moments of company to break up the very long days of isolation.  

I was able to go home on 12/25/2020 but that was short lived.  I came back three days later because I couldn't keep my blood oxygen in the 90's.  Got the same dr when I returned to the ER from an ambulance.  He confirmed it was a mistake to send me home.  I needed to have the IV steroids for several more days.  And I got to see a pulmonologist doctor.  I see her (Dr Dolin) at 6 weeks out for followup.  Dr Coggins actually read my hospital information and  texted and called us with information on my care and test results.  That was such a blessing.  

I had great doctors who took time to answer my questions about my illness and treatment.  The last three days of my stay I was without a cannula or oxygen therapy and was able to keep my oxygen level in low 90's range which is what I needed to be able to do to go home.  When discharged on January 6, 2021 I had a oxygen machine at home and was directed by my dr to use it.  Reducing my level of oxygen daily to wean off of it.  Today I am at level 1.5 and oxygen level is 95%.  I have reduced my Predinose pills down to 1/2 for the next couple of days.  Then none.  I have been doing some exercises and Jeff helped me stretch yesterday.  My muscles wasted away while I laid in bed for those 22 days.  I went from looking 66 and in good shape to looking 86 and wasted.  No muscle tone at all.  Pam has been doing daily circulation therapy using a body brush to stimulate the skin.  I can now feel all parts of my feet and legs, shoulders, back and arms.  Such a good feeling to "feel" again.  I can feel my feet when I take a step.  Thats so reassuring that I will fully recover.  I have been testing my oxygen level when just on room air, not the oxygen machine.  I drop a bit to the upper 87-89.  Maybe when the steroids are out of my system maybe it will be better.  I go to the staircase and go up and down one step using railing for stability.  My legs are so weak.  But Alana, my PT, said I will get it all back.  I leaned hard on Jesus while I was in the hospital.  I needed him to give my family peace and comfort.  He was there for me.  I give all praise to God for His great mercy and healing.  

Love intentionally, extravagantly, unconditionally. I found Boo.

My friends who keep up with me know that in January I experienced the tragic and heartbreaking loss of my awesome dog "Teo." She had bone cancer and many of you helped me get through this horrible experience. It hasn't been an easy time since then and the 90 pound hole in my heart is still there. I nearly swoon when I see a German Shepherd dog because I know how awesome they are. I want one, again. 

I read the following poem on a friends FB page and it was as if God and Teo were both talking directly to me.  It is this...

Do not be dismayed by the brokenness of the world.

All things break.  And all things can be mended.

Not with time, as they say, but with intention.

So go.  Love intentionally, extravagantly, unconditionally.

The broken world waits in darkness for the light that is you.   

                                                              L. R. Knost

I have been pouring over the internet in search of what could be the next best dog for us. I am always drawn back to the German Shepherd dogs. However, I looked at a lot of websites about different dogs. Rescue dogs and breeders. Pages and pages. I communicated with a couple of very special veterinarian friends of mine and followed advice given to me by people I respect. I also prayed to be specifically lead to the right dog for me, now. I wanted to make sure to keep my eyes and heart open to find the dog God wanted me to have and when. I set up folders of information on breeders, questions to ask them in the interviews and possible health issues of each breed I was researching. I learned more than I thought I ever would about a couple of different breeds and breeders. The color and gender of German Shepherd dog I want aren't available within a 500 mile drive right now. I can wait for the German Shepherd I want.

The story of this white puppy is that I was looking at a pup from a breeder of Creamy Golden Retrievers in Montana and they didn't have a female. I was told about this breeder in OKC. Ninety miles from home! When I looked at her website there was a photo of a puppy sitting next to Mickey Mouse! They had also used Disney character names for some of their puppies. Names from movies like Frozen! Truly I tell you it was a direction from God. There were other direct answers but that is a whole other story.

My dog's names is Boo. Her daddy's name is Int CH Merlins Mysterious Destiny CGC. Merlin is also a Disney character from Sword in the Stone movie. So we named her Merlin's Mysterious Boo. We like Boo from Monsters, Inc. and she is as white as a ghost so there you have it. Little Boo.

Today I took Boo to my vet along with a booklet of health and ancestry documents provided by the breeder. My vet was impressed! Both with the quality of the documentation and the puppy. She was happy to see us with a puppy. She was with us when Teo died. 😪 She knows my heartbreak. She totally understands. I love her. Dr Micah Smith Hartwig :-)
Teo died on 1/23. Boo was born on 2/3.
Teo died at 12:12 PM Boo weighed 12.12 at the vet today. 😦

That is it for now on the story of the search for Boo. 👻
Our dog Meeko is learning to like her. This puppy is as much for her as it is for me and Gary.  Meeko needs a companion.  Last night when Boo "cried" at the thought of going to bed in her kennel in the bedroom Meeko fled to the living room for quiet. LOL 😴 It will get better.

The search for the German Shepherd will continue.

Cindy

Teo and Meeko Tribute 2018

On Saturday morning, July 29, 2006, Leslie was driving home from working the night shift.  As she drove down Avery Drive towards Sand Springs she saw two puppies in the road.  She stopped and picked them up and then called me.  She came over to the house and when she pulled into the driveway I saw two puppies in her car!  She told me she was afraid they would be hit by a car and killed so she picked them up.  We got a kennel set up and put them in the side yard until we could decide what to do with them.  Later that evening Robin’s daughters were involved in a terrible car accident.  We spent the rest of the weekend and the following weeks grieving with their family at the loss of their daughter and serious injury of another daughter. 

Each time we came home we would play with the puppies.  They would play with us, lick us and do what puppies do.  Their presence was like a balm for our broken hearts.  We had  Andy and Ace, our poodles,  so I placed an ad in the local newspaper to find them a home, but only got one call and that person only wanted one puppy.  I felt strongly that they needed to be kept together.  I can’t explain why I felt this way.  By the end of the second week of having them it was determined that they were ours. I looked up dog names that began with the letter “T” because the dark puppy had a big white cross on her chest.  I found the name Theodore means “gift from God” and a shortened version was Theo or Teo.  I liked that name, it fit.  “Teo” she would be.  The white puppy had some Mickey Mouse freckles on her under belly so it was easy to see she needed a Disney character name.  Since she looks like she has a racoon type mask on her face we named her after the racoon in the Disney movie Pocahontas.  Her name would be Meeko.  The two pups were inseparable.  They did everything together.  Teo was definitely the alpha female but Meeko made her presence known and they sometimes had sibling spats.  A few times they broke their teeth from the snapping fights they would have.  No serious injuries to each other but their snarling and fighting could be ferocious at times.   They grew up into beautiful dogs. 

Meeko’s coat is thick white fur with a tan spot on her ribs. I think she looks like an Akita breed of dog.   Meeko always was the tattle tale sister dog to Teo. Always a sweet girl, but if Teo was doing something bad, Meeko would bark and come get me.  If Teo was outside and too slow coming back inside after a bathroom break, I would send Meeko back to “go get Teo” and Meeko would bound down the steps to get Teo to come back inside.  Meeko would not eat her food until Teo was finished with hers, then she would growl to warn Teo that she was guarding her food. 

Teo ‘s fur is a black, silver and tan coat.  Teo was my devoted companion and friend.  She was always by my side or underfoot and laying on me when she could. If I sat down Teo would lay on or near my feet.  If I was eating she would sit by me and watch me.  When I slept she laid on the floor next to my side of the bed.  When I was in the shower she laid by the shower door so she had to move when I opened the door. If I was on the potty she would put her head on my lap.  If I worked on the computer upstairs she would push her way under the desk, a small space, and lay on my feet.  When it was 8:00 PM she would remind me it was time for her bedtime medicine and a treat. She had an amazing sense of time.

When I came through the door after being gone she would greet me at the kitchen door with tail wagging,  turning circles and whinng with joy upon my return.  She would put my wrist or hand in her mouth and “hold my hand” as she greeted me.  I would have to substitute a toy that we called a “hold it” into her mouth so I could get my hand back.  As we did this over and over I began to say to her “get a hold it” and she would find a toy to hold as she did her circle dance around the kitchen upon my arrival. 

After her leg broke from the bone cancer Teo was in a cast. She would still get up and hop to the kitchen door to greet me, not wanting to miss a chance to have a sweet reunion with me.  Meeko would prance in the background waiting for her chance to say hello and get a rubdown and hug. 

Teo was my “gift from God.”  Meeko was her sister and best companion.  I love them both so very much.  Loosing a companion pet is heartbreaking.  I have a 90 pound hole in my chest that Teo used to fill.  I miss her beyond description or comprehension.  Meeko is lost without Teo here.  We are spending as much time together as possible to get through this loss.  Someday Meeko will be gone too and I will be grieved beyond description.  Jesus help me when this happens.  

O

Dreads

I have discovered that I have two dreads

Being left behind

Living without

In 1988 my grandmother died.  Alone.  She was one of twelve children in her family.  She married my grandfather who was one of nine children.  At the time of her death she had experienced the death of all eleven of her siblings, her husband and all of his eight siblings.  Along with the deaths of an infant daughter and two grandsons and many nieces and nephews, cousins and many other relatives.  She was the last of her generation in her family.  Her adult children and all grandchildren lived many hundreds of miles away from her and did not get to see her very often.  She truly was “left behind.”  I watched this occur over my lifetime but it didn’t truly catch my attention until her death when there were not that many people at her funeral.  At the cemetery we talked about all the relatives that were buried there and all the extended family that had died before grandma did.

Grandma ended up living without her family and many many friends until she died.  She had been left behind.  I considered her to be a strong pioneer type of woman but I never thought of how alone and  lonely she truly was.  She was the only one left of a huge extended family.  She died at age 88  alone in her home.  

I have thought about the amount of grief and sadness my grandma experienced in her life.  How she was left behind because it was a huge family.  She was the only one left.

Pastor Scott’s 2018 sermon series currently is about “Living without enough.”   Well when I heard the topic my ears shut off at the “living without” part.    I used to think I wanted to live to be 100,  but have changed my mind.  To live that long would mean there would be a lot of people and friends I love who would die before me and I would have to live without them in my life until we are reunited in heaven.  The prospect of living without them fills me with dread.  How do I do that?  Live without them in my life?    I don’t need more wealth or more stuff if I don’t have my loved ones and friends with me to share it with.  I don’t want to travel if I have to go alone.  Who to share the memories with?  Who to talk to along the way?  

I am working to build my treasures of heavenly things.  To me that means people and pets.  I remember visiting with Colton Burpo, from the book Heaven Is For Real, telling his testimony of what he saw in heaven.  All the people he met there and the animals he saw and the lion he played with and Jesus's horse.  I imagine after meeting Jesus I would then be meeting up with family and friends who have gone to heaven before me, and my pets who are there running to greet me upon my arrival.  This mental picture makes me so happy.  I imagine being in heaven awaiting the arrival of another loved one that I can greet at the gates.  

I don’t want to live to be 100.  I don’t want to be left behind.  Living without the ones I love here on earth would be a miserable life.  I am not suicidal but being left behind and living without as I described above would be so awful.   I pray that Jesus will come soon and fix his broken Earth, making it new again.  Rev 21:5

2018 Begins

January 2, 2018
Wow, how fast time flies.  I manage to fill the days with active movement but don't seem to get anywhere fast.  I am thankful that I put ceramic tile down in most of my house because I would have worn out more carpeting with the many trips I make from room to room doing chores and things. 
Grandkids now number 4.  Jack, Alex, Lilly and Emma.  Boys are certainly different than girls in many ways, not just physical.  Their interests in play and entertainment are very different.  Love having them at my home whenever they come, but at the end of the day we are pretty worn out.   The Christmas holiday this past 2017 was so fun, as they all have been.  Seeing the grandchildren and adult children is such a joy.  I love seeing them and hugging them all.  I am thankful that we are all in the same zip code.  :-) 

Holidays and family.

Thanksgiving and Christmas for 2015 and New Years for 2016 have all come and gone.  Today it is January 4, 2016.  I remember when we were all so uncertain what 2000 (Y2K) would bring.  Now that seems like ancient history.  A lifetime ago.  And for some it is.  New grandchildren have been born to us and our lives are very different.  There has been a lot of drama and at times peace and quiet.  I mostly like the love I get from the grandchildren.  They call me "Nana."  I like that.  Jack is now 7, Alex is 4, Lilly is 2 1/2, and Emma is 2 months old.
I am doing more physical exercise therapy for my hip bursitis caused by my hips being out of alignment while walking in a cast/walking boot after breaking my leg on 9/7/2014.  It is very painful.
My nephew, Tony, came for Thanksgiving and stayed until January 3.  Nephew Jeff flew down on December 22 for the holidays.  We played games all the time, ate and cooked and ate again.  We had a great fun time playing Christmas II, a new gift exchange game we created.  Everyone leaves the table with a stack of gifts and prizes.  It is a lot of fun.  The big funny this year was the purple purses that Leslie and Pam were trying to get and keep.  Little did they know there were two of them so they would each get one.  It was so funny to watch them.  When the holidays were over and it was time for Tony and Jeff to leave I had to fight so hard to not weep and weep.  I was so so very sad that they were going home.  Tony helped me so much with kitchen chores and the computer and the Wi-fi trouble we have been having.  He helped us move beds around and helped with dishes all the time.  He was so helpful and I appreciated it so very much.  He makes a nice pot of coffee too.  He is patient when explaining things to me and showing me things programs on my computer will do.  I really appreciate that.  Now we will wait another year for visits again.
My new car, a Lincoln Navigator 2016 model, arrived on 12/31.  We went to the dealer and signed for it and drove it home.  It is metallic sapphire blue and I had silver pin striping and Mickey Mouse icons painted on it.  I love it.  I need a long nap.
God bless you and keep you all.  Jesus rocks!!

Catching up

So much has happened. Life and death go on without regard to gender or agenda. My dad died on November 4, 2010. He went peacefully. Basically his breathing slowed down and his breathing did the same and eventually they both just stopped and then his heart stopped. I was at his bedside praying with him and for him. Mom was there too, she was having her own struggle watching the drama of dad's passing. I actually look at dying as a different version of birth. We leave our mother's womb when we are born into this life. When we die in this life we are actually born into the next eternal life. I know many people don't believe there is eternal life, but I do. I believe that when our earthly body stops (dies) our spirit enters into the eternal setting. Then upon arrival there our eternal fate is determined by what we believe and have done. God has reached down to us through His son, Jesus, to offer us a relationship with himself. He loves all of us so much He is willing to die for us to bring us into a relationship with Him. All we have to do is believe and accept this gift and we can spend eternity with Him.
My dad did accept Jesus' gift and believed in Him and now I have peace of mind knowing that my dad is in heaven. That made the days of funeral prep and planning so much easier. I miss my dad, but I am comforted knowing that he is in Heaven.